


sweet and right and merciful

by javajoy



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Reylo, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Light Bondage, Mildly Dubious Consent, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Possessive Kylo Ren, Possessive Rey (Star Wars), Smut, written for the force awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:28:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/javajoy/pseuds/javajoy
Summary: Rey bears witness to what he observes. A monstrous, seductive woman, ready to take whatever she wanted. Ben leans forward, as much as her grip will allow. His lips parted as he waits for her to claim him.And she does.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	sweet and right and merciful

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! both ben and rey are consenting, however, it is HIGHLY questionable and could be very easily viewed as non-con so i'm tagging to keep anyone that could be triggered safe. 
> 
> this is certainly the most questionable thing i've ever written, i'm definitely experimenting with my writing and i hope that this is a decent? story
> 
> but without a doubt, if the tags trouble you pls stay safe and don't read <3

Snowflakes dust over her eyelashes, they melt against her cheek. Numb fingers move through the snow as Rey pushes herself off the ground. Her spine aches, but still, Rey finds the strength to stand. 

The energy around her is tight and wild, just as feral and ferocious as she is. Ben's pain and wounds echo on her skin, he's losing blood and much of his strength.

Finn's laying face down in the snow, Han Solo's body rests at the core of this false planet. There is nothing stopping Ben Solo from falling into the dark with his bleeding heart. He guides himself through his own life completely blind and broken.

They were one and the same. Both going through the motions, enduring one day just so they could endure the next. There was no living, no choice, and now they were mentally locked with someone just as uncontrolled and insatiable.

So, Rey breaks the nonsense script,

and calls the legacy saber to her hand.

The hilt of the weapon whips past Ben, who turns and watches her with awe. A wonderstruck look lighting his face as he observes her. "It is you." He whispers, but the words repeat in her head, over and over, _it is you it is you it is you it is you it is you it is you._

Blue light burns through the weapon, blinding and all encompassing. This time, when she feels Ben's heartbeat - it's in her clit.

Ben's expression is playful now, twirling his crossguard lightsaber before sprinting towards her.

\--

Their arousal bleeds together, just as purple bleeds over them whenever their sabers clash together.

Her muscles strain, every stretch of her arm, every time her back arches - her cunt throbs, and her stomach twists. They're so close together, at times, she can feel his breathing on her face, hot and inviting.

"You need a teacher!"

Sweat drips down from his temples. Rey licks her lips, ignoring the hunger that destroys her. The fire inside of her burns brighter whenever he's around, and she knows that Ben wants to burn alive in that flame.

Their hands clasped in a mock hold, wrapped around their other saber and Rey uses her strength to push the crimson blade into the ice covered ground, her other arm raises with Bens, the motion see's them pressed chest to chest.

They each push closer together, and Rey can feel his erection straining through his trousers. They're breathing mixes as one. Ben is the first to break, thrusting forward, grinding his clothed cock against her and Rey -

She's faced with her own darkness as she uses this opportunity not to run away, but the slash Ben's face with her saber.

He falls to the ground, his own weapon far out of his reach. The smell of burning flesh plagues the air, and he looks to her with both fear and arousal.

Her chest is still heaving, her eyes dart between the bulge in his trousers and the glaze over his eyes. With a mock laugh, Rey tosses her saber aside - and allows herself to break.

There's nothing in the galaxy more important than this. Than _him._

Rey strides forward, then drops to straddle his hips. The outline of his cock fits perfectly against the slope of her ass, Rey slides herself back so that she can feel him on her cunt.

She winds her fingers through his dark, wavy hair. Pulling on it as painfully as she can, scratching his scalp with her nails. His throat bobs beautifully as he waits for her to speak first.

It's so dangerous, the trembling ground they've chosen. "You're the one who needs to be taught a lesson." Rey hisses through clenched teeth. "Think you can keep up, _Solo?_ "

His cock twitches against her, Rey bears witness to what he observes. A monstrous, seductive woman, ready to take whatever she wanted. Ben leans forward, as much as her grip will allow. His lips parted as he waits for her to claim him.

And she does.

\--

Darkside energy pulses inside of her, that which vibrates outside of her settles over her skin, seeping into her flesh. 

Rey feels bare against the bitter chill and windswept snowflakes; her attire had only ever been useful for keeping out the unforgiving heat of Jakku's deserts. The ' _cold_ ' was an unfamiliar concept, a fantasy that she would chase, one that always melted, and was gone after the slightest touch.

That impossible sensation surrounds her now, surrounds _them_. A frozen atmosphere that clings to her nose, to her toes. A gust of wind pounds on her back, shivers race down her spine.

Rey is adrift in the cold, her very death could result in these subtemperatures but, she isn't afraid. In the absence of heat, she finds her own.

Ben _burns_ under her fingertips like he were a wealthy woman's furnace.

Twisted in his lovely hair, her fingers do not suffer the bitter chill. Sweat pools down from Ben's forehead, over his temple, and down his cheek. Slipping into the charred wound which she had given him.

Rey looks into his _lost_ , glazed over eyes, and she feels him stirring in the back of her mind. Horrified, fascinated, and _aroused._ Those are the emotions that Ben continuously cycles through. 

This glance she takes into his soul reveals more of his light than Rey had witnessed before, for whatever darkness that had been residing in his heart was now taking up residence in her own. Claiming her, giving her endless reasons and excuses to act. Voices whisper to her in languages she has never heard of but she understands them nonetheless.

They tell her to kill Ben but she won't, Rey isn't _that_ far gone.

There is another whisper, something not born of darkness that comes to her now. A primal urge, a human drive, a _voice_ , that suggests rather plainly that Rey make the most of the warm body between her thighs.

His cock is hard, straining in his trousers, pressing into her clothed sex. Rey rocks into it, the friction she's able to get on her clit forces a moan from her mouth, loud and unashamed yet light and restrained compared to the choked, _desperate_ moan that Ben responds with.

His heartbeat is pounding in anticipation, the sound echos and vibrates in the base of her skull.

Yet, he doesn't move to touch her. His desire is unquestionable, his arousal _undeniable_ , yet - Ben doesn't move, he doesn't speak. Recent injuries are scattered across his body, Rey can feel a phantom mirror of them, he's certainly in pain, but not so much as to be rendered immobile-

It's her.

_Rey._

By the force, or energy, or bonded minds - Rey has taken such control of their narrative that she holds Ben paralyzed under her.

And Ben looks at her expectantly, pleading with a lustful gaze.

Not to free him of the invisible restraints she has captured him with - but for Rey to take whatever she wanted from him.

This poor boy has surrendered himself entirely to her, not just out of fascination, but of an overwhelming need for someone new to be in control of his destiny.

And Rey, craving motion and touch, leads the charge he has given her. Circling her hips, rutting back and forth. Her bones crack as she arches into Ben, pressing their chests flushed together. 

Ben's breath is hot on her cheek, her lips. He is rocked with every thrust, coming closer and closer to claiming her lips but the distance is never crossed, held back by nonsensical paradoxes and his statuesque state.

He speaks through the bond, his words muffled, images fogged over, but Rey understands. _Kiss me_ he begs, _please_. His pleas repeat until Ben is screaming in her head, all the while she rides his clothed cock, humping against the bulge in ways that satisfy her far more than it could him.

_Rey,_ Ben whispers, _Kiss me._ Like her, he was so desperate for love. 

_Starved_ for it.

Rey can see into his memories, see how scared he was to reach out to anyone. Her own life history bleeds into Ben's conscience, he witnesses how Rey withheld love from others out of fear of rejection.

They were both hurting so much, if there was anyone either of them could not only receive love but extend it as well -

Perhaps some people never get over their fears.

Rey's eyes feel funny, and the voices of long passed sith lords whisper to not give in to temptation, as though she hasn't already done so.

Still, she uses her leverage on his hair to press Ben's face into her neck. He breathes in the scent of her skin, dotting weak kisses on her throat. Every touch of his lips against hers sets off like a strike of lightning. Exhilarated, trembling in the aftershocks.

Whatever force of energy that moved between them wasn't natural. Every sensation was heightened to the point of extreme. The new angle couldn't afford Rey any friction, yet as she ground her cunt against the open air, stars and white dots flooded her vision until -

She comes on _nothing,_

Rey comes with Ben's lips on her neck and her fingers tangled in his hair but - there is nothing to explain the implosion of her orgasm. Her insides flutter against nothing, rapid and rhythmic. Her heart pounds at such a frantic beat, Rey fears that it will give out. Her limbs trembled, her cry leaves her vocal cords feeling strained.

Rey is left with nothing to truly ground the aftershocks, she clings to Ben's frame, her last salvation but -

The hold she had restrained him in was no longer tethered by the force.

Ben knocks her onto her back, the little air she had managed to breathe in before the assault was knocked out of her. A pathetic _wheeze_ sounds against the howling wind as Ben takes his onslaught out on her face.

He kisses every freckle, every line. His lips find the scar on her cheek and the shadow of her dimple. 

And he, he is _warm_ and he is unashamed of bleeding hearts. His kisses are light on top of her eyelids and hard on her cupid's bow.

When Ben moves to kiss her, to claim her lips, he hesitates. Suddenly unsure when Rey finds herself in clarity. 

_She_ is the one to close the gap, to initiate their touch. With their one kiss, something in the universe is corrected. Whatever pieces of their souls that had somehow escaped the merging of souls the first time, are swallowed whole.

They are now locked together in something neither of them understands. A bond that will shatter planets, that threatens the _galaxy._

Something equally poetic and dramatic, and potentially realistic if the trembling ground was any indication.

Their kiss is short lived, broken apart with confused expressions as to why the forest is suddenly crumbling. _Star Killer Base_ rattles and whines within its core, a deadly warning that quickly shoots up to the surface level in quick vibrations.

On Jakku, Rey had quickly learned to follow her gut instinct, to run in arched lines, and to double knot safety ropes. Her instinct had kept her safe from undesirable people and potential injuries. 

It's that very same instinct that guides Rey now, so familiar and trustworthy that she can't refuse the motions. 

She scrambles out from under Ben, he lunges after her, clawing at her ankles. "No, Rey!" He's screaming now, "You can not leave me, Rey!" There is no anger in his voice, " _Rey_!" Only fear.

The ground splits open between them, elevating Rey to new heights as she runs, not looking back even as his voice fades into the wind.

\--

No matter how far she runs from Ben, she can still feel the darkness that has claimed her now, she can still hear his heartbeat in her skull. Her lungs ache with his as they both sprint after someway off this false planet.

There is enough darkness inside of Rey to devour her, yet by some will of the force, a glimmer of light still works to guide her. Whispering what direction to run and when to turn.

Rey is lead far away from where she had been with Ben, she is lead to something else that belongs to him. Something he has inherited from his deceased father.

The _falcon_ blends into the wild, snowy landscape. As Rey approaches, she catches sight of Chewie carrying Finn's body inside the falcon. She races onward, slipping past them up the ramp.

Rey dashes along winding halls until she's seated in the pilots' seat, lifting the _falcon_ off the ground and back into the sky.

The _falcon_ traverses through space, going into hyperdrive and back out, yet it isn't until Rey realizes that she's no end destination that she thinks about seeing if Finn and Chewie had made it onboard before she left.

\--

They're fine, at least fine in a way that Rey can't describe. Fine in a way that shouldn't be called fine.

Chewbacca doesn't seem as fond of her as before, perhaps it's grief. _No_ , Chewie had still been on the ramp when Rey took the _falcon_ off ground. She could have killed them, _all_ of them had Chewie not closed the ramp before they exited the atmosphere.

_That would have been two more deaths on_ Star Killer, Rey thought. Finn's corpse is here at least, his dark skin is pale, and when Rey presses her fingers against his cheek she feels only ice. 

It's good that they have one body to bury, they would have never been able to retrieve Han's body. "It's a shame about Finn." She whispers.

_Finn isn't dead_ Chewbacca responds.

Rey glances over at the old Wookie before returning her attention back to Finn. He was- _he was alive,_ yes his breathing was shallow, but Chewbacca had done a routine patch up, vital signs on the wall displaced Finn's heartbeat, weak but steady, decidedly _not_ dead and -

There is something wrong with Rey, whatever darkness has her, it is too much.

She feels no relief or joy at her friends' survival even though Rey knows that she should. Even the idea of Finns' death hadn't moved her, she hadn't cried. The first and only friend she had ever known, and yet Rey was completely _numb._

Her awareness only made it worse. She couldn't even pretend, there was an apology somewhere inside of her, an urge to beg forgiveness and weep for having almost killed them all but - it never reaches the surface.

Chewbacca says nothing else. He heads to the pilot seat, and guides them to the Rebel home.

\--

Finn is rushed off with medical droids in tow the moment after they land, Chewbacca heads out to speak to the Resistance General, and Rey, she stays in the falcon. 

She should worry, she should fret.

But mostly she just thinks about Ben.

\--

She's seated still, chewing on her nail when a woman enters the _falcon_. BB-8 rolling behind her, the sight of her old droid friend edges out some of the numbness inside of Rey. She's able to wear a convincing smile as she checks the droids antenna in greeting.

As for the woman in Beebee's company, she's young, blond. A proud soldier that couldn't be any older than Rey. The woman gives Rey what might be called a formal smile and says. "My name is Leiutennate Kaydel Ko Connix, General Organa has sent me to check on you." A beat passes, "Are you currently in need of any medical attention?"

Rey shakes her head, giving a light verbal "No." She doubts anyone can fix whatever is festering inside her brain.

Connix nods, "Good. In that case, I'm here to inform you that General Organa has requested a face to face meeting with you. I'm to see that you're washed up and dressed for it. Food will be provided _after_ you two have spoken."

It's an order, one far different than the type Rey is used to receiving but she's is well familiar with the tone and underlying implications. There is no refusal that would be accepted, she can only nod and follow the woman off the _falcon._

\--

  
She's given the option between using a public 'fresher and a public shower, she's warned at the end of the offer that the 'fresher is the more popular option and if she's wanting privacy, she'll need the shower.

The choice seems obvious if not contradictory but,

Rey does find the shower to be empty, her heart unintentionally skips as she watches the lone inhabitant leaving the area with wet hair and a wide towel wrapped around her frame. Rey adverts her gaze before it could linger.

She finds the shower to - to be different than what she had expected. When Rey had first heard of the concept, she had a similar reaction to when she first learned about rain, so, she thought they would be similar. A straight, _cold_ downpour overhead.

But, the water that sprayed onto her chest was warm and wild. The pressure hard enough to prick at her skin, immediately soothed by the same water washing down her body. 

The experience was, damn near comparable to the orgasm she had not one hour ago.

Steam fogs around her, warm water washed over, warming her body. Rey turned around, letting the water wash over her hair, down her back. When she closed her eyes to bask in the sensation, she felt the light within her grow.

The darkness and voices of sith lords slipped away, quietly leaving her in favor of another. They gathered slowly, drifting down the invisible thread that tied her to him. The boy she could never forget, the heart that still echoed her own.

The energy in the room shifts, Rey opens her eyes to witness the tension take shape. Reality cracks and bends before her,

An unobservable wormhole tears through space time, bringing an image of Ben before her.

He, like her, is nude. His body is coated in a heavy glaze of bacta over his wounds, next to him, a medical droid is attempting to patch the wound Rey had sliced down his face, but,

Ben keeps twitching and moving, his eyes locked on hers and the movement of his wrist intensifies and -

His cock is an angry red color, leaking a translucent fluid as Ben pumps the length rigorously. Her face turns a bright pink when the realization hits her. Rey is jolted, shocked. She moves to step back, step away but, she is paralyzed. Frozen in place. Forced to watch as her fascination and desire grows.

Darkside energy flows off Ben, shielding around him like fog. His eyes are so dangerous, wondering the length of her body. Studying her tits, her abs, her thighs, her _cunt._

Ben's tongue runs over his plush lower lip as he watches watch drip and flow down between her breasts. Rey is the perfect sexual image, and Ben _devours_ her.

He's beating his cock hard enough that some silly part of Rey thinks he might hurt himself before he can come, and _gods,_ does she want to watch him come.

She can feel the inevitable building in the air, the pressure rich and all consuming. Ben hunches forward, his pace somehow quickening. Rey can hear a faint request from a droid asking him to not move so much while they are working on his wounds, Ben doesn't respond.

He keeps his eyes locked on her until his hips jerk into his own thrust and white ropes of come spill from him.

drops of his seed land on her, her thighs, her calves. Warm, sticky, quickly washed away from the spray from the showerhead.

When the last bead of come drips down the shaft of his cock, Rey is able to move.

She drawls in ragged breaths as she takes the two long steps separating them, and moves to straddle Ben's lap.

Ben's hands hold onto her hips as though they are his life chance at salvation. His fingers dig into her flesh as his lips spend a trail of kisses on the swell of her breasts. Rey dots her own line of affection into Ben's hair. Pressing her nose into the raven curls and breathing him in.

Ben nips the skin next to her tit, running his tongue over the spot before he moves to take her nipple in his mouth. 

  
  
Rey is a mess, grinding her hips against the air once again as she begs, "Ben, please. I-" His hand wedges between their bodies, long fingers trace down her slit and back up. He circles his middle finger around her clit once and -

And he is gone.

And Rey is left wanting, crashed down on wet tiles and water that is starting to chill.

\--

Her outfit consists of olive green trousers cropped at her shin, a beige wrap shirt, an uncomfortable grey vest with matching arm warmers, and new boots. The only item of her original attire to remain was her belt. 

Rey asks about where the rest of her clothing was when she met with Connix outside of the communal shower.

The lieutenant tilts her head, "They were little more than rags, we had them cut and distributed for other uses. We can provide you with a standard uniform if you require spare clothing." And that's the end of the subject, a short pause sits between them before Connix concludes with, "Follow me."

\--

Rey supposes that her clothing was just a scavenged pile of rags,

But they were _hers_ , and now,

\--

There's too much clarity in her head now that most of the darkness has returned to Ben. Rey wishes desperately for it all to return so that she could be numb again.

\--

Without the option of apathy, and existing at the mercy of all emotions, Rey is left with only her rage.

It shouldn't be like this.

General Organa is a woman to be respected, admired, _feared_. The last princess of Alderaan, a war hear from the battle against the empire, galactic senator. Even on a backwater planet like Jakku, Rey had heard tales of this woman. A story so much more grounded than tales of light swords and magical abilities.

But, as Rey and Connix turn the corner and Rey sees the back of this revered woman, her blood boils. The very sight of her causes Rey's hand's to tremble.

There are many memories that don't belong to Rey have been crammed inside her head, she can't help but be influenced by them.

She sees Leia Organa the way that Ben does.

It's a storm of emotions, mostly rage, miles of underlying sorrow, a shell of understanding.

_Why wasn't I good enough, why wasn't I good enough, I was never good enough._

General Organa says her name in greeting, Rey says nothing in return. Organa doesn't seem to mind, she doesn't seem to be in a conversing mood. Rey desperately tries to search for some signs of recognition as she is talked at. Directed with vague orders.

There is potential with Rey, she could help the resistance, she could bring Luke Skywalker back into the fight. The General would trust her on this mission, she would pass the fate of the galaxy over to her hand. "I see potential in you, Niima. You could be a Jedi with those abilities." Pauses, then says, "This is what needs to be done." The General reasons, soft brown eyes full of authority and hope.

_What needs to be done. Like how I needed you and you sent me away!_ It screams in her mind, bouncing around and nonsensical. _You're sending me away again! To him! After what he did?_

Rey doesn't respond, she keeps her jaw clenched tight enough to crack her teeth. Leia searches her face, waiting for a response that Rey would rather perish than give.

_You didn't even care_ Leia playing the waiting game far longer than the average person would, she holds out, same as Rey, but Organa breaks first.

With a hint of flaring nostrils, she says. "You need to understand your place in this galaxy. Go rest, and ask yourself what path you'll be taking." 

\--

Connix stops Rey when she attempts to board the _falcon._ "You've been specially selected for semi private quarters and one of our more comfortable cots." The lieutenants hands are clasped behind her back.

Rey shakes her head, "I'll have more privacy on the _falcon,_ yeah?"

Connix steps in front of her when Rey steps onto the ramp. "This ship is not under your ownership, not to mention due to the importance of your presence in the resistance's future, we cannot permit you to board any ship unsupervised."

Lingering rage twitches in her fingers, Rey steadies her breathing. "I was offered a job to work on this ship, I have every right to be here."

"And now you work for the resistance." Connix does not back down. "Follow me."

\--

The semi private quarters that Rey has been accommodated with is stationed inside the common hall. In a far corner, one wall made up of sheet metal, the other a bloody boulder covered in moss. A green trap has been hung up as a privacy curtain.

This is what the resistance has given her. A watchable sheet fort with only one exit. So much for kriffing privacy.

A much needed thing, given the shift that ripples through the force as Rey approaches her quarters. Her pace never wavers, her body keeps moving,

But when she pulls back the green curtain, Rey's faced with Ben, patched up with black bandages, missing his shirt, and wearing the most delicious pout. He's sitting on the edge of her cot, motionless. Petrified.

Rey steps inside, the curtain falls behind her.

The darkness consumes and latches onto her at once. All of it, ripped from Ben and stuffed back inside Rey. Running through her lungs like oxygen, pulsing in her clit like arousal.

There's no question: Giving in to her lust.

The grey vest falls to the cement flooring first, the matching arm warmers following.

Rey tugs off her shoes while he watches with wide, wonderstruck eyes. She unfastens the string of her trousers, slides them over her hips, and lets them fall down on to the floor.

Even in the dim lighting, Rey can see a pretty blush lining his cheeks. He's already seen her naked, but Ben still looks at her like she's the most seductive creature in the galaxy. It's flattering, it makes her proud. 

It makes her want to own him, and never let him go.

She gently places her hands on either side of his jaw. Ben watches her, eyes intense and longing. Rey brushes her thumb over his cheekbone, then leans down to press a delicate kiss on the beauty mark next to his nose.

Ben takes a sharp inhale of breath. Rey allows him that one moment, then she pushes him back onto the bed. 

He falls, moved by her physical manipulation alone. Ben now stares at Rey with hooded eyes, watching as she straddles him.

There is fear in those olive brown eyes of his, _no_ , more suspicion, _anticipation,_ but he is aroused. Rey can feel the fast growing erection that reveals him. Energy moves and tingles throughout her body. Darkmatter vibrates over her flesh.

Rey rocks and adjusts until the angle is correct, bracing herself, palms flat on Ben's chest. When she grinds into Ben again, sparks shoot across her vision and down her spine. It's a live wire that will kill them both, warming her thighs, coiling in her abdomen. 

She had already gotten off like this once before, and as earthshattering as that orgasm had been, she and Ben deserved a diverse and erotic sex life. Rey keeps her movements light, sighing at the friction that the bulge gives her. She repeats the motion twice more before lifting her hips -

A whine falls from Ben, hoarse and pleading. Begging for her touch to resume.

Rey shushes him, kneading her palm into the muscle of his pecs for a moment as she adjusts her weight.

When she's ready, Rey lightly trails her fingers down his abdomen, lower and lower until she's reached his waistband, and her fingers slip underneath. He's rock hard when her fingers wrap around his cock, twitching and _pulsing._

It takes some unexpected work, freeing Ben, but his cock springs free from his trousers. Impossibly long, an angry shade of red. The sight of his proud length has Rey throbbing between her legs. She needs to feel him against her.

Rey tugs the gusset of her smalls aside, and brushes herself against him. The soft, silky touch of his skin against hers robs Rey of her breath. A low whine is what leaves Ben, a dying sound, something akin to an animal. His cock twitches against her slit. Rey can't help but clench at the sound.

The position is slightly awkward, but she perseveres. Rey slides her cunt up and down the length of Ben's cock. Angling to movements so that the head of his cock could rub against her clit. Per come was already beading on his head, each touch was euphoric, electric.

The moan that leaves her is sultry, seductive, _erotic_. So unlike any sound she had ever made in her life.

Rey quickly becomes desperate, chasing the feeling, chasing her oncoming orgasm. She ruts, humping Ben's cock with abandon. Slick, _wet_ sounds join the movements. He never moves to touch her, he cannot, but some force of grace allows all of his moans to sing out.

And Ben is the first to finish. His come shoots out in sticky white ropes that pool outside her cunt, onto her stomach. 

Staining the only clean tunic that Rey has ever owned.

In the wake of Ben's orgasm, Rey reaches her own, ascending in his afterglow. Her universe has turned white, her only sense of reality being the fluttering of her cunt and the feel of Ben against her. She stayed, humping his cock as ripples of pleasure rocked through her.

Stars dance in her vision as the light dissipated, her core pulses as a warm, easy peace washes over her. Her chest heaves as Rey sucks in oxygen. 

Basking in the now shared afterglow when Ben finally moves.

Like before, he pounces on her. 

His long fingers tightly wrapping around her arms as he flips them over, pinning Rey onto the cot while he hovers over her.

The sudden motion has her head spinning, Rey even forgets to breathe for a moment.

When she looks at Ben, his eyes are full of rage that lacks any aggression. A look of mad lust that shouldn't belong to a man so recently satisfied. His body is trapped between her legs, and Rey isn't sure what will come next for either of them.

Nothing is said at first, the only sound to be heard is their mutual panting. What transpires between them isn't awkward. It's a matter of waiting. Something they're both very good at. 

Rey is, _thankful_ , for this quiet moment with him.

Her head feels clearer, there is still darkness but everything is balanced. All their pain and joy equally shared between them. Shouldering each other, carrying what the other could not.

She's able to truly look at him, study him. This boy of hers wasn't built from any fire or rage. This is a man of sorrow that burned himself of his melancholy. He lost himself in his fury, yet there was something more.

She doesn't know everything, but she knows enough.

Tentatively, Rey reaches for him. Her fingers glide along his jawline, cupping his face. She whispers, "No one has ever taken care of you,"

He seems to break at her words. A teardrop falls onto her cheek when he blinks. Then the wait is over, Ben leans forward, whisps of his black hair tickling her face and -

He kisses her, a tame, tender kiss -

Then Ben is gone, before the kiss had finished. As though he were never there. A blanket of darkness still holds Rey. In the absence of Ben, all there's left for her is to curl onto her side and await slumber.

\--

In the moments before she is taken by the night, before she is claimed by the dreamland; Rey realizes that she had never asked about the others.

She had never asked about who all had lived and who had died.

Rey had never asked about Finn.

There was something wrong with her, she would think herself completely broken but - maybe she had always been like this.

Maybe she had always been pretending, in more ways than one.

\--

Space time bends once again, and Ben comes back in the dead of night. 

Resting in the shadows of her small room, similar to a monster that she might have feared as a child. His hair is disheveled, skin pale and dripping with sweat. He stands at a distance, breathing as though he had never breathed before.

Rey wants to reach out to him, beckon him to her but - she can't. This was how their bond worked, one of them was in control, the other at their mercy. 

Unmoving, perfectly still.

Ben doesn't seem bothered by her lack of acknowledgment, he watches her as though he had been expecting this. As though he had figured something out and was waiting for her to catch up, but she knew. Rey knew.

"Six hours." His voice breaks the silence, adding weight to Rey's pounding heart. "It's been six hours since the destruction of _Star Killer,_ six hours since you _infected_ me with whatever you are."

Rey says nothing,

Ben stalks towards her, no - to the foot of her bed. It's out of her line of sight, she can only just make out a moving, blurred outline. Rey relies on her hearing and sense of touch alone, and Ben does not hesitate to touch her. His bare fingers trace the flesh on her calf, his fingers are sticky and warm.

"Snoke is dead," Ben tells her. "I killed him."

Rey has heard the name in passing, she thinks she's heard of some of the man's crimes. What she knows about Bem, tells her that _Snoke_ is the monster that has haunted him.

And now he is dead.

Good,

Ben moves her to lay on her back. Situating himself between her thighs. Rey is propped up enough to watch Ben remove his clothing. The alien blood of a man she had never met stains his flesh. A sickly dark green that had soaked through his clothing has now marked Ben for his deed.

Rey waits for what comes next but, what happens instead is unexpected.

Ben works her cunt, lapping at her clit, drawing out her arousal. Rey's moans are of air and lust. Ben soaks his fingers with her arousal before he slips it inside, and so it goes.

He works Rey until her body has adjusted and relaxed. Suckling on her clit, only removing himself whenever Rey titered too close to the edge. Preoccupied himself with kissing her stomach, her thighs.

Then he would return, taking the sensitive bud between those plush lips of his. Pumping his finger inside her cunt until he was able to add a second. Crooking his fingers in between thrusts, searching something out.

Fireworks and starlight blind her when he finds it.

Ben touches it sparingly, always making sure she never crosses the line. If Rey could speak, she would be begging. 

She thinks she can feel him, that he could feel _her_. Inside his skull, begging and _begging_. Ben whispers some apology against her cunt, loving, and right. "Did you hear me, Rey?" His voice is louder now. "There is no going back now that I've tasted you. There is no other path for me."

His fingers slip from her cunt, the empty feeling could kill Rey, tears build and spill from her eyes. Lost in what has been denied from her when Ben enters her in truth.

He's gentle, and kind. Far more than Rey thinks she deserves. The stretch is, unimaginable, Ben curses under his breath, pulling out slightly before pushing back in. Rey feels as though she's being spilt in two.

She never wants to feel anything else again. The tight fit of his cock inside of her was all she ever wanted to know. "Fucking _\- tight._ " Ben curses, " _Fucking, perfect."_

It takes time, but eventually, Ben is settled inside of her completely. " _Fuck,_ " The expletive is spat from his lips, "You are, so fucking _tight._ " There is pain, pain that keeps her tears flowing, but there is pleasure. Pleasure Rey hadn't known existed.

When they're ready,

He fucks into her, rubbing her clit when she cannot. As the pace is set, Ben leans down and kisses her, her lips can twitch in some mockery of movement. She can't truly kiss back, even though she wants to. 

The slide of his cock was, _fuck_ \- Ben was right, there was no coming back from this. There was _nothing_ that could compare. He works her clit, moving his thumb in fast circles. Doing everything to drag his cock along that spot inside of her and -

Ben is generous, Rey is the first to come. Her scream no louder than a whisper as her body is shattered and ground into dust, built back together bone by bone.

Her cunt is milking him, clenching and - _fuck_ , Ben purrs at that, his thrusting becomes erratic, harder. He doesn't stop rubbing her clit, "Rey, you listen to me, the _next time_ ," Her cunt won't stop clenching, it's too much "Rey, the next time, you tell me where you are." Ben is slamming himself inside of her, he's trying to say something else, but all that leaves him are curses. " _Rey_ -"

Rey is broken once again as another orgasm takes her, Ben can no longer hold back. Burying himself to the hilt, spilling inside her while her cunt milks his cock. His warmth spills inside of her, finally, _finally_ , Rey is able to move and -

He's gone before Rey can even agree to what he demands.

\--

Dawn has yet to creep over the horizon. The moon in the sky watches over them still.

Rey dresses quickly, stumbling over wobbling legs and fluids running down her thighs. That doesn't stop her.

When Rey is dressed and begins walking around the base, she is stopped by more than one personal, each one more tightly reminding her to not keep the General waiting.

But her destination is ahead of her, maybe they can see it in her eyes, or feel it in the air. They remind her that she is not permitted to board any ship, but it doesn't matter. They keep trying to follow her, no matter where she turns. It's the presence of Beebee that calms them. The droid rolls around her, beeping promises of watching her.

So, she and BB-8 are left alone. She quietly thanks her friend, she had enough humanity left to accomplish that. Then Rey heads towards the forest, past the outposts, deep into the trees. Walking until that familiar shift in the force returns.

And she tells him where to find her.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is a reference to cherry wine by horizer and the first few paragraphs are taken from my other fic which is an unofficial prequel to this!! : https://archiveofourown.org/works/28035615
> 
> thank you for reading and stay safe!!!!


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